i said i was moving on on wednesday's post. but i dont think im anymore. just a single thought of her brought me really low. it was just a mild thought of her ... and poof ... im gone. i cant even think straight. i need alcohol so badly now. really badly. i want to drown myself in alcohol. just drown...

nothing seems to fit right anymore. i wish i just did nothing and deserve nothing in return. i just dont want to do anything anymore. just be a beggar by the side of the street and hope people i know wont recognize me. this time, i really give up. i dont want anything anymore. seriously and honestly. i cant take anything anymore. everyone might think that yeah, this stupid boy is being so fucked up just because of a breakup. so i will say again, you wouldnt know what we went through together. you wouldnt have imagined it even happened. but it did. so yeah.

exams are coming soon. as in this week. and im feeling this way. definately not helping at all. sigh...

rick.